Being in a long-term relationship sometimes has me slipping into routine, we’re both just as guilty for this and frankly, even though it’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s something that right now, I don’t want to actually be in. So, I’ve been putting my head together to come up with some resolutions for 2020 for my relationship and also for those of you who are currently in the dating scene; rules we should all be thinking about following.
Of course, I understand that every relationship is different and we all have unique circumstances, only up until September my relationship was long-distance, so it’s easy for us to often forget that routine is a bit more normal once you’re not on a plane going back and forth between countries, but I personally like the spontenanity of a relationship and doing things just because.
Resolution #1 For Couples: Communicate
One thing that I’ve noticed which is common in every relationship is that the communication often tends to break down, it’s happened to us from time to time where he’s said one thing, I’ve taken it a certain way, but he meant another thing – so we should be making the effort to communicate; my personal main goal is to stop jumping to conclusions and ask for clarification before going ahead and doing what I thought was meant, or getting wires crossed and arguing for no reason.
Resolution #1 For Daters: Choose Your Dating Sites Wisely
Find your middle-ground on dating sites, limit how many dating sites you’re on and take your time a bit more – don’t expect things to happen over night. I recommend trialling a few and deciding which ones work for you, then ultimately deciding which ones to continue using and which ones to terminate your account on. A newer site which I think will prosper this year is silver-dating.com but you can also go traditional and try sites like Match.com and Plenty of Fish, and of course there’s apps like Bumble, Tinder and Grindr that have blown up over the last few years, find your senior dating site or app, whichever works best for you, and stick to it.
Resolution #2 For Couples: Compromise
When I speak to people in relationships or couples together, I often see that after a while, compromise becomes easier, but for newer couples it’s harder to compromise because everything is so new, and for the most part, both people are used to being single and doing things on their own terms with their own initiative. I think it took a long time for me to figure out how to compromise in a way that makes us both happy, mostly because I’d consider myself a bit too independent and I definitely know how I like things done, so I sort of expected things to be OK every time, but obviously that isn’t the case. I think the best way to compromise is through communicating (see: resolution #1). You need to talk things through and find a middle ground that both parties are happy with before jumping to doing things your way.
Resolution #2 For Daters: Less Dates
Whaaaaaaaat? Yeah, a pretty backwards piece of advice, huh? Something that I think is a bit of a problem when you’re dating, is going on too many dates. I think it’s done a lot because people are either looking for lots of sex or they’re just in a hurry to find someone. I actually think it’s more beneficial to be slightly pickier about who you go on a date with and get to know people through text better before meeting face to face. I think it just works better if you’re not looking to time waste and it’s definitely better to get friendly before you get serious.
Tip #3 For Couples: Go out more
This obviously depends on your budget and what you both like to do, but I think being in the house all the time and only hanging out at tea time can ruin your relationship so it’s important to go out together and have a date every now and then or even have a day out; do something different and break the routine, maybe even pick up a hobby together.
Tip #3 For Daters: HAVE FUN!!!!
I know my tips are a little bit serious and on the nose but whilst baring all of this stuff in mind, don’t forget to actually have fun whilst you’re dating. You’re actually in the butterfly-process, which as we all know, definitely doesn’t last forever. You’re in the stage of your love-life where first kisses still happen, where first dates still excite you and making an effort is exciting. So, don’t forget to have fun.