By now I’d say I’m quite the expert at a long distance love, and as much as I’m hoping for this distance to draw to a close (soon pls), I still quite enjoy keeping up the romance and doing sweet things here and there, and having sweet things done for me. I saw a Facebook video a while back with my mum talking about how hard these types of relationships are, and whilst I disagree as much as I agree, it had me thinking about how other people have it much harder than we do.
Blessed with the same time-zone, me being able to respond to a text whenever and Skype, our long-distance love, despite being in other countries, is still significantly easier than most. I won’t say that I haven’t had a Bridget Jones monologue in my head over the past few months building up to Valentines Month with a dreaded: How can we celebrate? undertone, but I will say that I’ve figured out ways of keeping up a long distance romance.
Every relationship is different though and everyone has things they do or don’t like and things that they find just totally and utterly corny, but all of those walls that I had up were broken down because my partner is someone who actually is a bit cheesy and has it in him to be really corny. I started to really appreciate it and try it out on him too when I saw how happy it makes him. However, it’s a bit difficult on the months you’re separated, and some people aren’t so lucky that they get to see each other every 4 months like we have been doing, so it’s important to bare in mind that the relationship has to have some consistency, and there are little things you can do to keep the romance alive.
Regular Skype Calls
Make the time to make a regular call to your lover. This is the most important factor in my opinion because it gives you a feeling of closeness, hearing their voice and their laugh, having real-time conversations and finding things to do together is the best way to keep the distance closed even when it’s so present. I’ve been sick as a dog and I’ve rolled out of bed, grabbed my laptop, and called him just because I didn’t want to go the whole day without talking properly (and we didn’t FYI my ill self was probably delusional because I went back to sleep as soon as he answered), but the thought was there and these are the things that count.
Buy Something Matching
This is as cheesy as cheesy gets, but I didn’t know the impact of sharing something the same would be so meaningful. Back in August last year, I went to Portugal and visited my other half, his birthday is in June and I didn’t send him anything because I wanted to give him his gifts in person, and knowing I was visiting him only 2 months later, I held onto his gifts. One of the gifts was a set of matching bracelets. We both tied them around each others wrists and it felt so special. I still have mine on, but he had to have his cut off when he had a scan back in December, otherwise his would probably still be on too.
Share A Playlist
The whole reason I’m still holding onto my Spotify Premium membership is because I just love our shared playlist. I’m the one who updates it, he leaves that job to me, but the fact that we both listen to it and it’s songs for both of us to enjoy is very special to me, and it goes on forever and ever because there’s hundreds of songs on the playlist.
Good Morning! <3
Yes, the all important good morning text. We make the effort to send these if we wake up before the other. I normally wake up first since my job means I’m up at 6am, but on the weekends he sometimes beats me to it and I get a good morning text too, but it just makes me feel happy and starts my day off wonderfully knowing that he thought of me when he woke up. Hopefully he feels the same when he wakes up to mine.
…and don’t forget to tell them you love them
For a while, you don’t stop saying, “I love you” after the first time you ever said it. Honestly, I feel like Pedro tells me he loves me in many many ways, but the best way is when I hear it coming out of his mouth with that big cheesy grin on his face. That is something that I love. I also really enjoy how happy he looks after I say it, and we say it a lot. But, I read a lot about couples in this situation where the romance has kind of died, and they’re still in love, but the I love you’s are few and far between and the cheesiness and honeymoon phase sort of settled into a load of nothing. I think this is the easiest thing in the world to avoid though, because saying I love you isn’t hard. Saying it randomly, before you hang up a call, in the morning, in the evening when you get home from work, when they’ve told you about their bad day, there’s never a wrong time to say: I love you.