LDR, or “Long Distance Relationships”, are more common than we seem to realise with barely anybody talking about them/it being tricky to distinguish who is doing it and who isn’t. I’ve been quite vocal about my long distance relationship, I think that if my story is helping somebody or encouraging somebody to go through with getting into one, then that’s amazing!
However, this time I decided to take to my Instagram stories and my Twitter page to ask you readers to send me your stories about your long distance relationships. Since most people decided that they’d rather remain anonymous I decided to just make everybody anonymous, but each of these stories are so different, and so eye opening to me.
Pedro and I met when I was thirteen and he was sixteen, I was the one to initiate contact because I liked his profile on a website we both used to go on, I used it because I liked my friends that I already had on there and he used it because another site he used closed down. Without going into too much detail on the website though, we got really close and flirtatious which was a continuing theme over the years. We always seemed to get there but one of us would always back out (The distance was a scary thing which is probably why we kept doing it). My rule was made clear though, I told him a lot over the years that if we were going to be a couple we had to meet first (something I didn’t realise I’d been doing for as long as I had ’til I went through our old chats). He obviously respected that and we both obviously wanted to be together, but I didn’t want to slap the label on us if we weren’t sure how we’d work in person.
We had been in each others lives for about six years when we met, and I was the one to spend a weekend in Portugal with him literally because I’d lost enough patience on waiting for him to come to me, things don’t tend to go his way very often and he was in a circumstance where coming here was made difficult, so I spent a weekend with him. It was amazing, and I think about it all the time because it’s such a special memory to me. Our weekend was mostly spent exploring Lisbon, we didn’t actually leave Lisbon the entire weekend, and then when I came home back to reality it hit me what we were: A long distance couple.
I’ve visited him several more times after our first meeting and it’s always amazing, always magical. I embarrass myself crying in the airport every time I have to come home because I know the pain of missing him all too well. Long distance relationships are a personal choice, but when you feel so strongly about someone and can only see you and them in your future then it’s worth the pain of missing and longing for them when you’re actually together, and everything has fallen into place.
The advice I’d give to anyone starting out in a long distance relationship is to consider every factor, to consider the cost of visits and how long you want to go between visits, I find that it’s normally around the 4-5 month mark where I get really sad about our situation and feel the need to go and see him, but a plane ticket and a week away isn’t exactly cheap. Is it worth it? Definitely.
The 1 hour time difference (Sweden x UK)
“We have a really interesting story if I may say so myself haha!
So I met him when I went on this social change program, where people from different countries came and he was representing South Africa. It was an 11 day programme and we spent a bit of time together and we just joked and had a little banter. Nothing too much. But I kind of started liking him. But I thought what’s the point he’s from South Africa, it will never work and he might not even like me. Little did I know that he had liked me for a while and had been hinting (I am oblivious to signs haha). But on the last day of the program I was very sad to say goodbye and he promised to meet me one more time before he left.
From the moment I left to the moment we met again in London after 4 days, we were talking non-stop over text and we would call each other everyday. I knew in that time this was something special. So when we met again, we talked about how we felt and how we would deal with the long distance thing. We both knew we liked each other enough to give it a try, but the funny thing is we talked about it for 5 minutes and said yes, we want to do this long distance without thinking about the reality of what was coming.
He left for South Africa and I was so sad. I was scared that it might fizzle away but we carried on talking everyday, we would Skype and he would make sure he made me feel special even though he felt a million miles away. He did the most special thing for me, I love the Youtuber Lilly Singh (Superwoman) and she was in his town for a meet and greet. He didn’t even know who she was but he got up at 4am to go and see her for me and get a picture with her and a signed poster. I think I melted. Then his birthday came and I couldn’t be there so I filmed a video for him and sent him several messages throughout the day including one his Setswana (the other language he speaks).
He came to London to see me and we had such an amazing time and reminded us again why we agreed for the long distance thing. He’s recently moved to Sweden now to study for 2 years. He still is far but not as far as before. Our relationship dynamic is changing a lot though because he’s a lot busier now so we have to figure out how to keep the communication going and how to keep it romantic still and there are times when we both feel low but we talk about it quite openly and say how we feel which makes it easier to deal with. I have already planned my trip to Sweden to see him so we do make an effort for each other.
I think LDR’s are a lot of hard work and require soooo much patience but I have an amazing network of friends who keep me going.”
Found love through MSN (Scotland x UK)
“We were teens through the years of the MSN prime, everyone had it and everyone used it. We were put in one of those annoying spammy group chats when the feature rolled out and as everyone left we ended up being two of the only three people left (me and him and the person who put us all in there to begin with I assume). We got chatting a bit and added each other then we left it at that for a few months.
One day he randomly messaged me and we got talking again – all day in fact. Webcams were harder to come by back then too, they weren’t as commonly built into laptops and when you did go and buy one it was so low down that the angle was truly tragic! So we relied on MSN and exchanging photos of ourselves to get to know each other.
He lived in Scotland and I lived in Sussex at the time, so even though our distance wasn’t too bad it still took enough of a strain for us to not really push with the boyfriend-girlfriend label. We spoke for about 5 years and when I turned 18 I asked him if I could come and visit. Amazingly he had the same idea and wanted to come and meet me too now that I was 18 (he was 20).
We met a few weeks later when we decided to stay a few nights in a really cheap, crappy bnb in Portree. It was a pretty enough town but where we stayed wasn’t the best and has closed down actually. We hit it off instantly and we decided to make it official. A year later he moved closer to me in Liverpool because he had a friend there who needed a flat mate but it was still a frustrating 1 hour or so train ride there. I’d taken a year out of education to gather work experience and decided to go to university in Liverpool to be nearer to my boyfriend when I turned 19, I went to uni to study to be a nurse. A year later we moved in together in a tiny flat, and the rest is history. We’re now married with one child!
Long Distance relationships are incredibly hard but we had it a lot easier than most people do because at least we were on the same land, and our boat got moving really quickly after we gave ourselves the couple tag.”