At age 8 when my boobies started to develop I couldn’t wait to slip into my first bra and show off to my friends how grown up I was, my two little stumps and I had a pretty good relationship up until they grew…and grew…and grew. So yeah, you get the drift. Bras became a hindrance and a problem to buy for, I’d outgrow them and then struggle all over again to find the right size (which doesn’t actually exist BTW).
I don’t enjoy bras, every shop and every brand I buy from my size is different, in Primark I could easily fit a D cup because the sizes are so ridiculously tiny, and in most other stores I’m easily a high C cup. But it’s always a gamble.
I find bras uncomfortable, I hate the way bands feel and the weight of the straps on my shoulders, I’m constantly adjusting them and pulling on them to relieve myself. When I do wear a bra, it’s got to be unpadded (more recently anyway), just for the sheer comfort reasons and the fact that my boobs don’t really cope so well under a regular cotton bra – they get irritated and sore, so bra shopping is expensive as well as frustrating.
The truth is, I’m bra-free more often than you may imagine. If I do wear a bra it’s for the support on my back or if I’m out in public (like at work for example), to hide my nips if my shirt is more fitted and so that I can run up and down stairs without my tatas smacking me in the face (exaggerating obviously), but I’ve braved it more often than you may believe and gone out without one just because I prefer it. But the thing is, I feel weird about it. I won’t go to work without one on, and I feel a little bit guilty even when I wear a bralette and I know my nips are making a slight appearance. This isn’t my own thing either, I definitely feel like this is something drilled into my head with the whole, “WEAR A BRA!” comments and I always have flash backs to this one time at school when I wore an unpadded bra, my nipples were showing through my shirt and a girl pointed it out to me with a pretty grossed out tone. I also wish I pointed out the fact she had nipples too but eh, we were thirteen and I’m not that bitter over it.
When I see these insta-models and Kendall Jenners of the world walking around in their tight fitting t-shirts with their boobies free from their cotton cage, I feel a little bit jealous because I don’t have the nerve to go out every day without my bra, even though I’d much prefer to, and even though these women are probably doing it because of the fact they have excellent boobs that hold themselves, it’s fashionable, they’re comfortable and famous people and internet faces can get away with anything in the eyes of the fashion industry and those paying attention, would you go to work for a corporate business with your C-D cups out? I wouldn’t. Not because it’s wrong, but because of what society has been telling me since I started to grow the girls.
To be honest I’d also describe myself as a bit on the modest side. I love those dresses that plunge all the way down showing a lot of cleavage, but the first thought that enters my mind is, “My dad would have to see me in this.” and I just, cringe. So, am I truly brave enough to go out further than my local shops bra-free? Do I want the comments from strangers that I’d potentially be inviting, do I want to be checking my nip-situation every two seconds? Heck, if my dad went out without a top on he wouldn’t have this worry and I’ve seen more strangers who are men walking around top free this year than ever before, I’ve seen hundreds of nipples probably, so what?
Maybe it’s because we as a society aren’t quite ready to embrace the fact that women have tits. People are still disgusted by the fact that some mothers choose to breast feed so why should I expect them to see my nipples peering through my shirt and not feel equally as disgusted. I wouldn’t want to upset mothers who haven’t educated their children that nipples are normal, and bras suck, I wouldn’t want a sarcastic old person making a comment and I definitely am not inviting cat calling, as I insinuated above. I’d love to live a bra free, permanently flat nippled life – but it’s just not possible. Not with the risk of upsetting a lot of people.
Someday I’ll probably write a post talking about how I haven’t worn a bra in 5 years or I’ll find some sort of alternative which means I can go bra free the majority of the time whilst having the days of “support” be less frequent. I might have babies and breast feed, love it so much and use it as an excuse to never wear one because it’s “convenient” (this may or may not be a thought that is on my mind a lot), and I may just grow up and get over myself and not worry about other peoples opinions or worry about making people uncomfortable. If you’re uncomfortable with my nips staring you in the face, you need to grow up.
Times will change, they’re in the process of changing every day. The bra topic has been a hot one since 2015 and maybe even earlier, and I can’t wait for the day when I can throw all of my bras out and embrace the bra free, nips out era.