This is actually a question that has been quite on the front of my mind lately, does my appearance match up to the things that I like? I realised after letting it get to me a bit that it’s actually quite a childish thought I was having, so writing it out is where I’m at.
When I told someone that I like a certain brand, she looked quite shocked and said, “But aren’t you like, a rocker?” In the heat of the moment I just laughed and thought whatever, but when I started to think about it, the things in my bedroom and the things I like don’t match up to my appearance and the music that I listen to.
Should I dress to match the things that I like? But don’t I already do that anyway? It was all getting very confusing for me and I started to feel a little bit out of touch with myself. Until I snapped myself out of it. Why should the fact that I would rather listen to rock music over pop music, and the fact that I have a certain way that I dress, dictate the other things in life that I like? Should I love horror movies instead of romcoms because I wear all black most of the time and have tattoos? Erm, no. So why was I letting this comment get to me so much?
I think it’s because deep down it’s probably something I’ve thought about myself. Maybe it’s crossed my mind, and someone else actually saying it to me let it get pushed to the front of my mind and I’ve been thinking about it for months… MONTHS.
The conclusion that I came to was pretty obvious and I’m so surprised it took me this long to actually be like, hey whatever that was a comment that she meant no harm by, so why am I thinking about it so much?
I think when you’re in school, even though “cliques” don’t really exist in this day and age, there is some element of it. However, to contradict this when I was in school my longest group of friends was full of all sorts of characters, and we didn’t look down on each other because of the things we liked, so why is it in my adult life I’ve felt so conscious of myself and of the things that I like to wear or do or have – the answer to that is simply that I don’t know. As an adult I feel more at ease with myself but also I feel a lot more self aware, I know that the things I like aren’t really “cool”, like when you’re fifteen and listening to Green Day, you think you’re the top dog and so original and unique, but you reach twenty and you realise everyone listens to Green Day and you’re not really that amazing. So it’s not about the fact that I think I’m above everyone else, I just feel very self aware.
When you look around the blogosphere, there’s a lot of people who talk about expressing themselves later on in life, I’ve noticed it to be a new thing that a lot of us are currently going through, people are sticking it to the man and finally deciding to just let go and be themselves. People aren’t grouped in cliques, we’re all part of a vast interest and we know this deep down, whoever you want to be can’t be dictated by the opinions, snide comments and approval of others. The only persons approval we should be worrying about, is our own.
I really do wish that I hadn’t let this comment get to me so much because I know the answer, I always knew the answer. Just because I like pretty girly things doesn’t mean that I should dress that way, and just because I like video games and anime doesn’t mean I should start dressing like the characters, and just because I like watching the Kardashians, doesn’t mean I have to start dressing like one.
Self expression is something that is so important, and just because you like a certain thing, it doesn’t mean that you have to behave and look a certain way. But, as I’ve gotten older I’ve also realised that sticking to one specific sub culture is, for me, boring. Nobody is the same, and you don’t just like one thing for your entire life. You outgrow things, find new things to love and with this, your outer shell follows. You do your hair a little different, dress a certain way one day and another the next. It’s not that deep. We don’t need to dress like a rapper because we occasionally listen to Big Sean or Tyler, The Creator and we don’t need to start dressing like a mall goth because sometimes we like to throw it back to My Chemical Romance and have an emo sesh on our Spotify playlists.
So, to wrap things up a little: No, the things you like don’t need to dictate your appearance. As long as you feel good, and as long as you’re doing it because you want to, then that’s all that matters. We don’t need to think too much about what our appearance carries, because if you’re dressed a certain way that you think looks good, or if you’re dressing up too much to go shopping in Primark, who cares? You feel good, and it’s what you like. You don’t need to worry about these things, and I don’t need to worry about these things. I definitely have learned a lot about myself this year, and this is one thing that I’ve definitely drilled into my own mind. I like things, I don’t need to dress the part.