CAN WE MAKE PERIOD SEX “NORMAL”?

*This is a sponsored post with Dear Kate

The joys of getting older, wiser and more open minded, boils down to giving less of a damn. This could be within pop culture, opinions or emotions. But, this can also affect how we explore our sexuality, what we do in the bedroom and when we do it. Does a time of the month stop us from exploring our bodies? Let me rephrase; does it stop men? The obvious answer is no – but a time of the month has been known to stop women. That time of the month of which I’m referring to is our periods. Our monthly. Our ~shark week~.

So lately I’ve been thinking about it, wondering and discussing about the fact that women and men both have pros and cons in the sexual realm but when it comes down to it; men typically have the advantage in the fact that there’s nothing stopping them ever. If they want to run off to their private space and please themselves they can, but women seem to be limited. I’m not saying that this is a rule and I’m not saying that every woman stops just because her ovaries decided to shed, but more of a choice out of fear of the unknown.

There’s also the fear of laziness and understanding that planning any sexual activity whether it’s on your own or with a partner whilst on your period means that you have to actually plan for it; there’s no such thing as spontaneity on your period, every little detail in your life for those seven days are planned around your period, everything you carry in your bag, every outfit you wear and your choice of underwear all comes down to your period. There’s no such thing as just doing something because once you do, your period might just get ya.

But being dramatic aside, I went around asking my friends if they’d engaged in any sexual activity whilst on their period, and most of them said no – when I asked why it was pretty much given back to me, “Why would you?” which then inspired me to go out looking for the pros and cons. I was surprised that it was kind of difficult to get the answers I wanted, there was a lot of talk of sex during your period but that was all, I wanted the full spectrum, and sadly I was limited in my findings.

  So What Are The Pros and Cons?

Masturbating on your period

According to Dr. Jackie Stone of Mavens Clinic, masturbating whilst on your period can help relieve menstrual cramps and was quoted saying: “Orgasms in general decrease pain levels through the release of oxytocin and endorphins. Women who have more regular orgasms have more regular menstrual periods, so this would also be a benefit,” which basically tells us that the more orgasms you have whilst on your period, and even before your period, the less likely you are to experience cramping and if you’re having cramping, it’s going to alleviate some of that pain.

It’s also perfectly safe, there’s no risks or catch. Your period blood actually isn’t unsanitary and obviously there are no risks of catching an STD or STI – if you’re worried about making a mess, there’s ways around not making a mess, and if you’re worried about getting blood under your nails or all over your fingers, well there’s toys out there for you to buy and use, but if you’re more coy or you’re still living at home and buying a dildo with your parents in the house isn’t your vibe, you can also do some pre-masturbation clean up and keep your tampon inserted.

I’ve also read that you can put a pair of period panties on and use a bullet over them as a tactic, which is actually something that I would never have come up with on my own; but I can see how it would work and how it would save a lot of people time, effort and planning.

But overall, it’s some self care whilst you’re on your period. Yes, we can indulge in choccies and candles, cry at romcoms because I’m on my period! but some actual self love goes a long way when your hormones are flying and your ovaries are stabbing you.

Sex on your period

This one was the easiest to gather information on, it’s more widely talked about than I had imagined it to be and shockingly, not as taboo as I thought it was going into writing this post, for something that had been on my mind for a few months, it’s been on everyones lips for years. 

The pros are pretty much the same as masturbating, it helps relieve cramps, makes you feel good and boosts morale. But the main difference I saw when I searched for sex vs masturbation, was that there was more of a mention that having sex whilst on your period actually makes your periods shorter. There’s no reason why masturbating wouldn’t have the same effect but it’s interesting to see that it was only and mainly mentioned in regards to sex.

So now you’re wondering: How can it shorten your period? There’s no big scientific explanation to it, it’s basically just because your muscles are contracting whilst you’re orgasming which pushes out the uterine contents faster, and it could result in a shorter period, so this doesn’t mean that if you’re orgasming every day during your period you’re knocking off 2 days, but it could definitely help shorten it. Test the theory, see if it works for you.

But here’s the big question, the one that you probably thought to Google as soon as you started reading this article: Is it safe? Well, having sex on your period is safe. But there are a lot of misconceptions about having sex on your period. You can still get pregnant through period sex, it’s less likely but it can still happen, and it’s still recommended that you use a condom because it is actually easier to transmit an STI to your partner, viruses such as HIV do still live inside menstrual blood, so it’s best to be safe than sorry.

The Takeaway

Honestly after having this on my mind and going out and doing some research, not only have I learned that it’s okay to get a bit sexual whilst on your period, but I’ve also learned new things about my body and how my period affects it. Will I be getting sexual on my period? Well that’s for me to decide, but my interest has definitely been peaked and with more knowledge, I now know how to be safe and practical if the day ever comes.

Dear Kate

Now I’ve been mentioning period panties a lot throughout this post, and well ya guessed it: I’m wearing them in every photo in this post. Dear Kate were kind enough to send me two pairs of their panties and a pair of leggings (more on those later), and I only thought it fitting to finally write this post with Dear Kate.

Who are Dear Kate?

Dear Kate is a brand created by women for women. Dear Kate designs products that are meant to empower you and make you feel fresh every day, helping you through your period “and every sneeze in between”. Dear Kate designs garments to help you through your period without needing to rely on tampons and sanitary towels. Read their about page to find out more.

What do they do?

Dear Kate is a brand that is designed to help you through your period. They create panties that are breathable and comfortable so that you can feel relaxed and at ease whilst on your period. But they don’t stop there, they also create leggings for working out in and even dancewear for those of you that love to dance and want to do so without the constraints of a sanitary towel or tampon. Dear Kate also gives back; they’re aiming to end the stigma around menstruation through a partnership with Days for Girls, to end the shame caused by a lack of knowledge.

Are their panties and leggings leak-proof?

I have mentioned that they are leak resistant but not that they are leak proof, because they aren’t. The reason that these panties are so comfortable and easy to wear is because they’re breathable. Which means that we’ve sacrificed being completely leak proof. So, I’d actually recommend wearing these with a tampon or a sanitary towel on your heavier days, but you can definitely wear them on their own on the days that you’re lighter and they’re even comfortable enough for every day use (and can probably save you stress if you unexpectedly come on).

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