Living in the technological age means that naturally, we’ve found more ways to be sexual and more ways to have a sexual relationship with the people we form relationships with, and obviously this comes down to our phones, whether they’re apple or android, and apps like Snapchat becoming popular.
Obviously over time the definition of sexting has altered; sending and receiving nudes comes under the category and even though Snapchat isn’t entirely to thank for an increase in this behaviour, I do think that it pushed sexting back into the mainstream, it revived sexting, because before Snapchat, which launched in 2014, studies actually found that people were sexting more in 2008 than they were in 2013. This is probably because young people especially began to understand the risks that came with sexting and sending nude photos, but with Snapchat where they would self delete after 10 seconds and you’d be notified if the receiver had taken a screenshot, it became worth the risk again.
So, how do I feel about sexting?
I honestly think it’s healthy. I asked my followers on Instagram in a poll on my story if they’d ever sent a sext before, and I wasn’t surprised that nearly everyone who answered, had.
I also think that sexting is something that you have to be comfortable with in order for it to work, the first time a boy ever sent me a dirty text I cringed and avoided the situation, I was too young to really like it, and it had the exact opposite reaction from me. As an adult, I feel more comfortable with the topic of sex and what sex entails, in its many forms. I think that relationships are evolving with technology, they’re changing along with the times and if that means that sending nudes, writing out dirty messages and having a bit of fun via your phone is the way that technology is taking us, then why deny it a chance?
I also think dating apps like Tinder and the apps that followed have had a helping hand in the boost of sexting; although I’ve never used any of those apps, we’ve all heard the stories about how people have used them for sexting and hooking up, so I think that even for people who aren’t in relationships, sexting is now easier than ever.
There’s only so much that you can say and do through the use of your phone and apps though, so even though it’s an easy and fun way of messing around in your relationship (or with a random person), you are limited in what you can do and ultimately, is it really satisfying? Well, no, but there’s no harm in it either, if both people want to be doing it and there’s no malicious intent, sending a sexy text is as innocent as sex itself.
Which brings me to safe sexting…
We’ve all seen celebrity nudes come to light, and even when I was in school, girls were sending naked photos to their at the time boyfriends who would then share it with the entire school – since then, revenge porn has been made illegal and it is a criminal offence, but that still doesn’t stop people from sharing naked photos when they’ve been trusted with them, and it still doesn’t stop hackers from accessing celebrity clouds and releasing their naked photos to the world. The only way to really avoid this from happening completely is to just not send naked photos, but in this day and age it’s hard not to. Especially when you’re sending them to someone who you seriously trust.
There’s no pressure to sext, it’s not the same as actually having sex and nobody has ever actually been physically forced into it, because if you feel uncomfortable with someone doing it or trying it on with you, you can ignore a text or block the person sending it, but also when I was in school and even now as an adult, I do notice that there’s still a pressure to have sex and do sexual things, speak about sex and present yourself to the world as confident and sexy. Although I can (proudly) say that I’ve never felt pressured to engage in sexual activities, which obviously includes having sex, sending nudes or engaging in sexting, that doesn’t mean that someone else hasn’t.
To be honest, I don’t really encourage sexting if there’s no need to do it, I understand how easy it is to become influenced when reading sex articles when topics like this get mentioned, I understand the, “Should I be doing it too?” mentality that begins – and well, no.
Sexting is fun and flirty but it’s not necessary and it’s definitely not a must. Plus, if you’re sexting through literal text where they’re gonna stay there, passing your phone around to show someone something will equal paranoia and who wants that?
We’re definitely in a very technological age where our sexual relationships are leaking into our devices and whatnot but in the grand scheme of things, I don’t sit around thinking about how I’d really love a sext right about now, it just doesn’t happen.
But, if you are looking for a way to spruce up your long-term relationship, and if you’re feeling like a spark has gone or you’d like to reignite something, then I also do think that sexting is a fun thing to bring into a relationship, because when you’re not together and talking to each other and sending those flirty little messages, it gives you something to be excited about and it is a really easy way to make someone feel wanted, and to feel wanted yourself. Obviously there’s a time and a place, I’m not telling you to sit at work sexting but there are circumstances where you’re away from your special someone where it would be more appropriate.
So, to wrap this all up: I do think we’re sexting more in 2018, I think that sexting was dying out but we have dating apps and Snapchat to thank for its revival, and I also think that couples feel more comfortable with the concept of sexting because it’s just so normal nowadays to do it.