When it comes to being in the blogosphere, it’s easy to feel left behind. But when it comes to life and being human, the same rule applies. I see a lot of my fellow bloggers on Twitter talking about how far they’ve come in x amount of time, and it makes me feel a bit…envious. What am I doing differently that isn’t working? Why can’t I reach 20k followers on the gram, what’s wrong?
But this train of thought is an unhealthy way of looking at things: I see tweets that also talk about things happening at the right time. I got my first blogger sponsorship when I was a year and a bit into blogging, and that was my only sponsorship for about another year or so, it came slowly but eventually I’ve managed to gain consistency in my sponsors, I’ve begun to feel like maybe I can turn my blogging freelance someday – but right now is not that time. Why would I leave my job and everything behind for this right now if I’m not ready?
This also had me thinking a lot about the fact that maybe I’m rushing. Maybe I’m pushing myself a little bit too hard to reach these blogging milestones that obviously life hasn’t planned for me yet, that I’m probably not ready for yet. And it’s okay. In life, I’ve had a lot of plans rocking back and forth, some I’m pushing for now and aiming towards, others I’ve put on the back burner because it’s too soon or I’m simply not ready, but at some point I wanted it all, and I wanted it now.
I’m a firm believer that everything that happens in life happens for a reason. The people we meet, the things we do and the lessons we learn: It all happens for a reason. There’s things in my life that I wish had never happened, but when I look back, if these things didn’t happen, I wouldn’t be the same version of myself that I am today. If I didn’t have to learn my lessons the hard way, I wouldn’t be as grateful and as content as I feel today. Life is tricky, and even though at 20 my mum had just given birth to my older sister and had a flat to live in with my dad, life obviously hasn’t gone the same for me. I’m definitely not a mother, but my time to be one will come, not today and maybe not next year or the year after, but when I’m ready, stable and it’s the right time: It’ll happen. I also believe that the plans that I’ve made this year have come to this conclusion because it was the right way all along, it was the way that the world intended things to go, and even though I can’t run head first into these things right now, there’s a time that they will blossom.
The thing is, it’s human nature to wish away our lives. When we’re kids we can’t wait to be adults so we’re free of our parents guidance and rules. When we reach adulthood, we’re wishing for a break from work or we’re realising how stupid we were as kids to want to hurry up and grow up. It’s a bit ironic really. Right now I’m wishing the months away, I’m aware of it and I’m aware that it’s wrong, when I’m forty I’ll be looking back and wishing that I’d just lived every day as it came instead of counting down months for things to happen.
I can’t believe how fast time has passed me by. I remember being a twelve year old entering Year 7, talking about how I couldn’t wait to be 16 and leaving school, we spoke about prom on the first day, discussed our dresses and whether or not we had intentions on going – we’d just entered year 7 – and time flew. Before I knew it, I was wearing my prom dress sitting in the room hired for us listening to music and bidding farewell to my fellow classmates. Then I entered college, and time slowed down because I entered a standstill: I didn’t know what I wanted out of life anymore nor did I know who I wanted to be.
My college years were major learning curves for me, I had to grow up a lot and get over things. I had to learn how to get over myself and see the bigger picture and as angsty teens to, I got into a lot of trouble with my parents during these years. I began wishing that I could just turn 18 and have the freedom to leave home when I felt like it.
I definitely think that as a generation we seem to have a very quick paced way of going about things. Because we live in a world where most things are instant, we have instant messaging, you can now order McDonalds to your door and it arrives in 20 minutes – waiting doesn’t really exist for us. So we want life to hurry up too, we want the big milestones to come quickly and get everything accomplished before we hit 25.
This is a fault within our generation actually, I think that a lot of us are a bit ungrateful, when we hit a milestone we immediately think about the next one. When we achieve something, we instantly want to go bigger and better. I thought that when I hit 10k Instagram followers and my blog was becoming consistent with its numbers that I’d feel happy at that, but then I began wishing for the next big milestone, wishing that my numbers would increase a bit more and that even my work flow would increase, I’ve never stopped to observe the fact that how far I’ve come so far: it’s amazing. The amount of support I’ve had over the past few years? It’s amazing.
I’m sad and disappointed that it’s taken me so long to realise that not everything in life needs to rush, but I’m also relieved that I can now see for myself that what I’ve got, what I’ve achieved and what’s to come: I’m happy about.
Are we rushing? Yes. Can we stop rushing? Absolutely.