Dating can be fun and it can also be a nightmare. If you’ve dipped your toe into the casually going out and enjoying a meal with someone, only to never want to see them again because you just didn’t click or you hate the way they eat with their mouth open, then let me tell ya: We’ve all been there. I’m by no means a dating expert or anything though, I’ve only been out a few times with someone and am currently in quite a happy steady relationship, so take this as just for fun!
Whether you’re going on a date with somebody you know from work or class, or if you’ve met somebody through dating apps and websites such as Tinder, it’s always going to be a fun and exciting event (especially if you’re new to it). There’s loads of red flags to look out for, whether its coming from them or even coming from yourself, knowing how you feel in the moment is something key when it comes to dating – and something I’ve paid attention to (resulting in me only going on first dates with people back when that was what I was doing).
I definitely feel like I’m more of a relationship kind of a gal though, Pedro and I already had a tight friendship with each other before taking it to the next level, so when we had what we class as our “first date” it was just a really nice night. I probably always felt that way, and I like having a tight friendship with someone which is something that I personally missed back when I was just being taken out. I missed already having a set bond with somebody, so to me, things felt natural with Pedro. But, this isn’t about me or our relationship, this is about me sharing some tips that I’ve learned!
1. Are you thinking about what Netflix series you’re going to binge tonight…without them?
I went on a date with someone and I couldn’t wait to get home and watch a show that I was into at that time. That was red flag number one from me, I knew that I just wasn’t feeling it because my mind kept wandering elsewhere and well, we didn’t talk afterwards.
2. Are they eager to leave?
I noticed this months after the date and it was also my first experience being ghosted. He kept checking his phone and mentioning that he had to get a lift, at the time I was cool with it and it seemed to me like it was simply: getting late. But then I got ghosted and spent a while thinking about what went wrong. He probably just wasn’t into it and that’s fine, but in hindsight, he couldn’t wait to get home!
3. *Pre-first date* are you reading their texts and thinking, “I’ll reply later?”
I’ve spoken to guys in that way through text and there’s been times when we’ve been texting and I’ve put my phone down to reply later, only to forget and have to say Hi! all over again, it’s gone on for a while and that’s when I’ve just accepted that I wasn’t into them and didn’t really feel a friendship there, because even my friends get those needy instant replies that I excel at.
4. Forcing a connection
If you feel like you’re forcing a connection with someone, don’t pursue it. I think we’ve all been there when we’ve wanted something to work, but the reality is that it just isn’t.
5. You’re just…bored by them
…And this is OK. You’re not going to meet people you find thrilling and not everyone is going to find you to be a thrill either, but if you’re finding someone boring and you don’t have a lot of common ground (I once went out with someone one time who told me he didn’t believe in getting drunk with his girlfriend – what?), then it’s safe to say that you should just call things off there. It’s okay to not instantly click with someone and find something later on, in fact that’s the reason a lot of us hold on for so long, but if you’ve been talking for a few weeks and you’re just bored by them, there’s no guilt and no shame in moving on!