ON SAYING YES
For all of my life, I have been a no-woman. I’d say no to being asked to join after school clubs in school, as a stroppy and ungrateful teenager I’d say no if my family wanted to go out anywhere and for the most part I’ve said no whenever presented with an idea to do something. I’ve been working on this flaw for a few years. I’ve started to say yes, and this is where it’s gotten me.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Someone’s been watching Yes Man.” Although half true (I watched it months ago), this is a thought that has been playing on my mind more recently. I realised that after saying yes to both myself and those around me, my life has started to make small yet significant changes.
I feel more positive
This is the first thing that I thought about. Actually, it’s what brought the thought to mind in the first place. I was thinking about how happy I’ve been lately, how life seems to be starting to look up for me, I’ve got my mojo back with my blog, I’m doing more and I’ve been feeling quite positive about life as a whole.
When I took a step back and looked at it, I noticed that it’s because I said yes. I said yes to forgiveness, I said yes to learning new skills, I said yes to doing things independently and I said yes to myself when I realised that the way I was blogging just wasn’t hitting my sweet spot anymore and when I changed it up it felt like the first step to a bigger thing (more on that to come).
So, how do you start saying yes?
I think you have to be interested to begin with and know what it is you want to say yes to. For example, when you think, “I’d love to do that but there’s this thing stopping me.” that’s where you begin. What’s stopping you? Why is it stopping you? Wrong answer. You’re stopping you because you’re scared. Right?
Right. Well, that was the case with me anyway. From my own experience, I realised that if I started to say yes more to doing things that I came up with in my own head, I’d be making myself that bit more happier. You don’t have to do things because of what other people think of you. Heck, you don’t even need to worry about what your family thinks as long as you’re not putting your life at risk, because in that case you probably should listen.
My own issue is worrying too much about what other people will think. There are definitely times where you have to stand back and ask yourself: Whose life is it that I’m living? Because well, we all know the answer. The life I’m living is mine, the life that you are living is yours.
I started off with small steps before taking large leaps. By small steps I mean small steps. It began with my Instagram. I was always worried about posting too many photos of myself because when I was 15 and I had first joined Instagram, someone told me that they hated accounts where it was literally just photos of the user all the way through. Because of that I felt obliged to only post selfies every now and then. It stuck with me until recently. I wanted to post a few selfies in a row but I was worrying about what people would think of me if they came on my feed.
Fast forward to me making my subtle changes, my feed is predominantly photos of myself now. The reason is simple: I want to post pictures of myself, and also because I am the face of my blog. The person who’s thoughts you’re reading are mine, so I should be able to post photos of myself if I want to.
Subtle changes like this were making all the difference. My mood was lifted a lot just by subtle things. So now I decided: What is a big change that I want to make, or what is a big thing that I want to do?
Whilst I’m not going to bore you to death by listing things that I’ve done or things that I’ve said that I’ve always wanted to say and held back on, I have to tell you: Whether this thought was inspired by Yes Man or whether I watched Yes Man because of this thought: Jim Carrey would be proud. I didn’t go to the extremes of saving a life or going on a whim holiday to another part of the country and deciding where only once at the airport, but I have done things for myself that have made an impact.
So what next, what about you?
How are you going to begin? Why do you want to begin?
I think these are thoughts that you need to take action on. You need to answer those questions if like me, you want to start saying yes more. I understand that it’s hard sometimes to just get up and do a thing, I understand that sometimes getting yourself mentally prepared to do a task or say a certain thing can be pretty difficult, but once you’ve got yourself in the frame of mind that this is something you have to do for yourself, it’s easy.
I don’t think that I would’ve started to learn how to play the piano or I would’ve dyed my hair blonde if I didn’t want to start to make changes to myself. I know dying your hair blonde seems really silly but it was always a thought in my mind and something I wanted to do, but didn’t do out of worry of what boyfriends or relatives would say, which is the point I’m trying to express here: It doesn’t matter how silly something is. If it’s a big thing to you, and you’re scared to do it, then just do it!
I don’t want to harp on about this forever though because otherwise I’ll start to repeat myself and bore you to death. By now you should get the picture and understand what I’ve been saying, and if you feel even the smallest bit inspired, or if there’s things you just want to do then do them.
Let me know as well, I want to know what you’ve been getting up to or what you’ve said yes to. It’s amazing how one small step can work out to being a giant leap in the long run, and mentally, I’ve been feeling pretty good.