I’M NOT LADY LIKE
After a few relatives, literally in the same day, told me they don’t think my tattoos are lady like, or tattoos on a woman are lady like anyway, it got me thinking about a few things, one being: When have I ever been lady like? Why all of a sudden am I not just because I chose to ink my body? Looking back, I never looked right in overly girly attire nor did I ever have overly girly interests, so why all of a sudden is the phrase “lady like” being thrown at me?
I understand for the most part that growing up I probably had a few phases were I was either into something super girly or super boyish, for example video games played a massively large role in my childhood and teenage years, however fashion and blogging have been what has consumed my first years of adulthood, these are pretty opposite interests considering the niche I blog in, but I’ve never considered myself to be lady like to begin with. So why does the fact I got tattoos suddenly warrant the fact that all of a sudden I’m not lady like, when I never was in the first place?
When I think of the word lady like, I think of my older sister, someone who is quite classy, very feminine and a lot of colour – specifically pink, over taking her wardrobe. I don’t think of myself, but does the fact that I’m not lady like mean that I can’t like girlish things, mean that I can’t talk about and campaign with feminism or the likes? Of course it doesn’t, but from a kid up until right now I’ve always been more interested in things that your average – or should I say, traditional, woman would turn her nose up at.
I remember as a child I used to love Cartoon Network, my favourite show was Teen Titans and I used to adore Raven in particular, I loved that she wasn’t the type of character who went to the mall all the time and obsessed over crafts and sewing and love, unlike Starfire who I actually couldn’t stand. I felt like I related to her, she would rather read a book and stay cooped in her room and she wore all blue and black. Then there was shows such as Totally Spies! which aimed itself at a female audience and had these bad ass babes saving the world and going on secret missions but with compact mirrors with lasers as their weapons, I thought they were the BOMB and watched the show religiously (looking back though the show was super corny).
My sister on the other hand, she was more interested in learning makeup and hanging out with her girl-friends, when she started high school she suddenly became the very definition of a female, she was so beautiful and very feminine, she’d spend her morning getting ready for school by doing her hair and makeup to perfection, she looks back now and cringes at it but at the time she really was a knock out, and she still is, over ten years later as a qualified teacher and mum herself. I on the other hand, I got up for school, had a shower every morning and that was it. I didn’t bother with makeup until I was 16 and just leaving school, I couldn’t be bothered with it and I just never felt like it was a necessary thing to do for school, and I only started wearing a bit of eyeliner because when I happened to do it one time everyone complimented me on it.
My younger sister is the mix, she cares for her appearance and chooses to not wear makeup just like I didn’t, however she has the girlier interests and has quite a bit in common with our older sister, yet, she’s also interested in a lot of the same things as I am, would I call her lady-like though in the same way I look at my older sister and see her oozing in femininity? No.
When did I lose my femininity?
I don’t think I lost my femininity, because I don’t think I ever was feminine. Not really. Not compared to the girly girls I was friends with, my older sister, but I probably have had times where I’ve seemed that way too.
I think my tattoos are when my comments began. I think that the stigma around women who have tattoos is still very prominent, and my tattoos automatically made me more manly. Whilst OK I can see why the older generation will think this. It shocks me when people closer to my time think the same way too, I’m only nineteen but when I speak to people in their late twenties and thirties who express their opinions on my tattoos to be “I wouldn’t have them, they’re for men.” I feel shocked, not offended.
Firstly, why should I feel offended over someone elses opinion? You not wanting tattoos because they don’t suit your tastes is fine, but I do feel shocked that because I have tattoos, I’m no longer what is considered “Feminine” – isn’t it all based on attitude? Like how you can’t project a bad ass biker image if you don’t have the attitude for it? That type of thing.
Is there a problem with me? I don’t think so, just because eighty years ago there were certain expectations for women to live up to, doesn’t mean that they are there today. If you want to be the traditional lady then go for it, there’s nothing wrong with it, but if like me, you just aren’t naturally there, then don’t worry about it. We’re all different and we’re fortunate to be living in the age of self expression.
I’m not lady like, and who the hell cares?