I’m naturally someone who takes a long time to feel comfortable around people, to get used to being surrounded by new people and it takes me a lot of courage to strike up a conversation. This isn’t something that bugs me though, because I love being on my own and entertaining my own company.
I used to feel quite envious of those girls who have groups of friends and always hang out because I haven’t really ever had anything like that besides maybe once. After that, I found it really difficult to get on with people and felt constantly paranoid about falling out with people. So I found it easier to cut ties with people, or to just drift off the radar and enjoy my own company.
It’s funny though, because I expected to make myself miserable. I thought that it was sad to be on your own and do things without a friend next to you, but I actually love it. I find it so easy to go out and do things on my own, I never feel like I need to go out and do things but only if someone is with me.
I love being alone in the house too, I love the quiet and the peace of just being with myself. If I told myself this a couple of years ago I’d have laughed because I relied so heavily on being with other people and having people to do everything with. The only thing I’d ever done on my own was go to the cinema once to watch The Great Gatsby, after that I just looked for the nearest friend to do things with. I don’t think I was very good company either since I was quite desperate to hang out with people, but once you’ve spent time by yourself for as long as I have, you come to appreciate being alone a heck of a lot more. Failed dates don’t phase you, plans falling through doesn’t upset you and not getting a reply to your message within minutes isn’t something that plays on your mind. All of those things bothered me before I’d had this time alone though.
Don’t get me wrong, when I hang out with friends now I make the most of it. I don’t go on my phone much and I don’t really post about it on my social media accounts either, because it’s not really important to me to let everyone know what I get up to.
I’ve had a much more positive outlook on life ever since I started to appreciate alone time and spend more time on my own too. I feel more motivated to do things and I find it pretty easy to kick myself into motion, I make decisions quicker and I don’t dwell on things so much.
Even though I enjoy time alone, I’m never lonely. I have people around me often and I’m always talking to friends and family. I may sound like a bit of a hermit loner saying that I love my own company, but it’s just the way I am. Being alone and doing things independently is great, and it doesn’t make you lonely. I have friends who I really appreciate and I have my family who I love more than anything.